Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Canadian Music, Olympic Misfire
Watching the latter part of the Olympic Closing Ceremonies last night I was struck by what awful choices of performers the organizers had made. I couldn't even respect them let alone enjoy them. As each act was announced I became more and more frustrated and ragey. Canada is home to some truly wonderful musicians. There are the world renowned standards such as Leonard Cohen, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young and The Guess Who. Then there are the decidedly more contemporary established artists such as Rufus Wainwright, Celine Dion, Michael Buble, The Hip. And then there are the critical darlings, popular and bursting with talent; The Arcade Fire, The New Pornographers, Stars, the list really goes on and on. So why then was the concert portion of last nights ceremony packed with such dreadful artists? Nickelback, Avril Lavigne, Hedley, Simple Plan? Not only are these bands (save for Nickelback, unfortunately) irrelevent internationally. They are barely respected in Canada. Most people, excepting adolescents whose track record of music choice should be written off entirely, cringe when these bands come on the radio.
Now, nobody likes a complainer who brings no constructiveness to the situation so I've compiled a list of my dream performers/songs. They are mainstream enough not to scare off older/younger folks and relevant/hip enough to satisfy people like myself. A little more saucy and a lot more entertaining:
The Arcade Fire - Wake Up, Neighbourhood #3(Power Out), Rebellion (Lies)
K'Naan - Wavin' Flag (or, because that is the World Cup song), Take A Minute
Lights - Saviour or Second Go
Feist - Mushaboom or 1 2 3 4
Dragonette - Take it Like a Man
The New Pornographers - The Bleeding Heart Show
Stars - The Night Starts Here
Sam Roberts - Bridge to Nowhere
Topics: C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e, music, olympics
Monday, February 15, 2010
Alexandre Bilodeau
Topics: C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e, canada, olympics
Friday, December 4, 2009
Hallelujah!!!!
Today I handed in the second of two English papers! And I feel Jubilant!
HAPPY FRIDAY/END OF SEMESTER!!!
(just 2 exams and I'm homefree!!)
Topics: C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e, stayinschool
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Just One Year of Blog
Oh hi there. Don't mind me, I'm just celebrating my one year anniversary with my blog ... by candlelight. Maybe you'd like to join me and my blog as we take a walk down memory lane and recall our favourite posts from the past year. So sit back and enjoy the slideshow/movie I made especially for the occasion and try and hold back the joyous, celebratory tears as you recall the good times and the great times ... (sorry about the awful quality - it was fine until I uploaded it onto blogger....)
Lessons, Trials and Lots of Smiles:
See: Here and Here
Not to mention I liveblogged their epic fail of a t.v. show and reenacted Jon and Kate's awkward couch scenes ... the role playing stuck...
See: Here
I was pranked, hardcore. But I did eventually get my revenge al la postage mix-up.
See: Here
I became a Mad Woman and picked up a severe chain smoking habit and weave issue.
See: Here
We met Pearl and Frankie, who've I've know forever, but my blog hadn't yet had the pleasure.
See: Here
I went to P.E.I. and though my blog couldn't come along, I dutifully reported back as soon as I could with a list of all the wonderful things I had done!
See: Here
I created some much needed PSAs for Suspicinouns and Epipens!
See: Here and Here
I celebrated my very own 101th post with a little insight into the workings of the dreaded/loved informerial ... than I got to see these products for myself when ....
I was forced to go to the sketchiest mall in the history of sketchy malls: Dixie Outlet, where I came face to face, body to polyester with a Snuggie!
See: Here
I also learned that probably it's best if I don't go to any mall will my fellow blogette. Things get real. Then they get weird.
See: Here
I learned that Ken dolls can be used as decorations and that you're never to old to joyride or fulfill a fantasy of going to Appleby.
See: Here
I learned that great minds really do think alike, but Awesome minds think identically.
See: Here
Calvin and I took time out from exam prep to enjoy the Kingston Shoreline
See: Here
Calvin learned how to read ...
See: Here
... While Dorcas and I learned how to camera-whore properly
See: Here
I documented my involvement in the play Alcestis - see school can be fun
See: Here, Here, Here, Here
Calvin and I were not drunk when we came up with Trash Toss the game.
See: Here
We were introduced to the comic Cape Boy - and nothing was ever the same again.
Ep. 1, 2, 3, 4
For the first time (and hopefully last) in my life, I missed my plane - Lauren Conrad tears...
See: Here
I shared my and my fellow blogette's obsession with Prison. fyi: my prof held a special session of my seminar to look at original works by Dickens from the Queen's Library special collections and read aloud a passage from his travel journal of the Americas which praised Kingston's Jails. and that's about all he liked about this city.
See: Here
I almost got in a fist-to-cuffs with a bish in the Oakville place parking lot ... goodtimes
See: Here
I found my doppleganger in the children's program Backyardigans
See: Here and also Here
And finally I discussed the pain of suffering alone from the effects of a poltergeist....
See: Here
So all in all it's been a stellar year, I've enjoyed posting whatever the hell I post and will continue to do so.
Topics: C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Pack Up Your Files Jules ....
Topics: C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e, consumer habits
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Bustin' Makes Me Feel Good!
oh em gee. I am super excited for Hallowe'en! Today I had no class, and as a result I was twiddling my thumbs and finding any excuse to avoid school work. And so I ended up hitting up James Brett for a bangs trim (impulsiveness + bangs = questionable results) and the Dollarama to find some Hallow e'en decor. I was a little disappointed with their selection though - they didn't even have streamers or fake cobwebs...- the eff?!?? Anyway, I ended buying a giant skelly bones (which I obviously put in the "Burt Reynolds Naked Man" pose), a fake bloody handprint and some orange an black balloons - will have to do. My mum's good at sending me Hallow e'en care packages so I've accumulated some decorations which will fill the gaps. And then there's this:
Of course if you are in the mood for a good Hallowe'en story there is always the Tale of the Wellington St. Ghost
Topics: C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e, Hallowe'en, holiday, Kingston, sassy, silly
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Pop Electro Opera
Says Lady Gaga, "The Haus of Gaga had been designing 'The Monster Ball' for premiere in 2010 at the O2 Arena in London, but due to diligent work and preparation, 'The Monster Ball' will begin on November 27 in Montreal. 'The Monster Ball' is a multimedia artistic experience in the style of the first-ever 'pop electro opera.'"
Topics: C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e, music, sassy, theworldisawesome
Monday, June 1, 2009
June 1st
Maybe this month I will break my own most posts in a month record. Okay self, I accept that challenge. I should be careful that I don't binge blog too much though, I need to pace myself.
Some things to share with you today in celebration of the beginning of the 6th month of the year:
- Gingerbread Ka Mate Haka (check out the real one >here< I watched quite a few of these and by far the best part is the facial expressions from the other teams. Also, the New Zealand All Blacks are now my favourite team of any sport, anywhere.
- Total Eclipse of the Heart (Literal Version) ..... from Dlisted (click!click!)
- My Dream Apartment ....from Apartment Therapy New York (click me beyotch)
- Cool Guys Don't Look at Explosions (specifically the JJ Abrams Keyboard Solo) .... from MTV (click me)
Topics: C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e, divine design, television, theworldisawesome, wtf
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
101th POSTEBRATION!
Who celebrates 100 posts anymore? That's sooooooo last blogoyear! One Hundred and Oneth is totally where it is AT. In celebration of my 101th post I've decided to take you to a world that most of us are already familiar with, but one which I have been sorrily detached from for almost a month now --> the land of Infomercials. 'Infomercials?!' You say. Why yes, Infomercials - but this isn't a post on just any infomercials this is a post devoted to my 5 MOST FAVOURITE infomercials of ALL TIME! In no particular order they are:
1) ShamWOW! (have)
2) Lord's Prayer Necklace (have-not)
3) Magic Bullet (obvs have this one)
4) Loud 'n Clear (investment)
5) Snuggie (only in my sweetest dreams)
Let's get this party started:
The ShamWOW! is possibly the biggest scam in the tv infomercial universe. Unfortunately Dorcas fell prey to it while auto show a couple months back so now we have one at our apartment in Kingston. As far as I can tell it don't work. The most use i've gotten out of it is placing it under our leaky clothes washer ... yeah. But to the real point here - the infomercial himself. Aside from the fact that Vincy boy looks like your regular old neighbourhood methhead (and now confirmed prostitue employer/beater)... there are many other points of (dis)interest I'd like to point out. first off - wtf is a shammy? No one I know has ever used that word to describe an absbsorbent towel outside conversation on the ShamWow! commericial. point 2: the whole "Call now - cuz we can't do this all day" gimmick. Really Vince? you CAN'T do it all day. I think someones had a few too many sips of the ShamWow absorbed coke ... you most definitely CAN and DO sell these things all day. everytime I fricken turn on the tv there you are staring at me with your beady little eyes - willing me to buy your shammy... i mean ShamWow! You know what I think ... you are the the Sham Vince ... and I would not be surprised if your little 'business' venture was in Shambles by the end of the month....
deux: The Lord's Prayer Cross from Montebello Collections.
Okay. Okay...... O... Kaaaaaaaaaay. What in the world!? Riddle me this: If the Lord's Prayer is one of the most famous prayers in the WORLD (which I do not dispute) then why would someone need it strapped to their neck in a gawdy necklace - shouldn't a god-fearing Christian (whom I assume is their target audience here) already know such a prayer off by heart? huh. Okay so besides the fact that this necklace is suffering from a bad case of the uglies and is possibly least practical of all the infomercial items I'm discussing in this postabration - there are some parts to this desparate sales pitch that I adore: 1) the music - it's like the end of an inspirational sports film (Yay! God wins!). 2) At 60 sec. a man is about to give the token ginger a gift ... here's how I think the conversation would go:
Ginge thinks she's about to get a ring and BAM - AHAH gotcha it's just the fugly 'real' crystal necklace
Man: ta da!
Ginge: agh!
Man: put it on honey!
Ginge: uhhh
Man: Did I stutter? - Put. It. ON.
Ginge: maybe later...?
Man: ....
Ginge: .....
Man: Okay, Okay... howabout just look through it!
Ginge: Look through it?
Man: Yeah you know ... Look through it. Sometimes you get a necklace and you just wanna sit an look through it, like maybe you'll see something cool- y'know?
Ginge: Not really...
Man: ....
Ginge: ....so....
Man: You are SOOO not getting into heaven.
For our third subject we move over to something a little bit more useful and a lot more fun to watch - the MAGIC BULLET informercial - otherwise known as the countertop magician. Has a commercial for what is essentially a mini-upsidedown blender ever been so magical - I think not! Over the years the magic bullet has earner a special place in my heart. This is beacause I have one and it works! I can makes shakes so simply and effortlessly, bean dip, guacamole, cheese sauce, salad dressing ... okay so i've only ever made a breakfast shake with mine but I know that is I wanted to I could make all those other things. Besides the fact that this thing works it also comes along with its own little sitcom. If I were buying a magic bullet today I would demand a copy of the infomercial. Everytime I see it on TV I see something new! I don't think I've ever seen the full thing ... and that's what keeps me coming back for more. If only the hungover middle-aged Berman and the other annoyingly tanned couple are at the breakfast bar when I tune in ... I know that I need to stick around because that crazy chimney stack, alchoholic, barrel of laughs with sass, Hazel, is still yet to come (pretty sure I'm going to be just like Hazel in about 30 years give or take). And I never get tired of the Coked up hosts because there are so many other characters to soften their chirpy sales pitch (even if one of their guests looks eerily like her host).... okay so would I be completely out of line if I guessed that the reason all these people are chilling at this place for breakfast is because they were having a swinger's party the night before? And did Hazel and Berman hookup? So many Questions .. .tune in to find out!
Fourth on the Docket: LOUD 'N CLEAR. This is a bit sketchtastic... okay a LOT sketchtastic. This is like an electronic glass on door device. You can amplify all the sounds around and be innappropriately nosey. OKay so, Things I LOVE about this commercial: The part where the lady asks what suite in the card game - why does she have to ask... she's already wearing the Loud N Clear - CLEARly isn't legit. Also love when the guy wears it to a cocktail party and listens in of the group of chicks - priceless. Another golden moment - when the lady listens in on her neighbours - she obviously doesn't have a hearing problem, which would indicate that she bought the device solely for the purpose of listening in on private conversations that will in turn stroke her ego ... what kind of product IS THIS?! Marketing clearly gets this is morally questionable behaviour and counters by showing a clip of a lady using it for where else ... CHURCH. I love that they've juxtaposed using the device to eavesdrop and using it to make sure you hit the correct note in Amazing Grace .... Amazing.
5th on my list is the ever puzzeling Snuggie! Why didn't I think of this?! If people are this easily swayed to spend money then man what am I missing out on. I'm pretty sure if the Snuggie makes a profit then I could sell my Pajomforter idea ... okay stay with me now: It's Pajamas ... made out of comforter material! No more fighting over the covers with you're loved one! just hop into you're own personal Pajomforter and sleep in peace! Also comes in Pajilt (quilt styling) and Pajeets (for those hot summer nights when all you need is the sheets). I know - I'm sitting on a Diamond mine, right? I bet someone is using a Loud n Clear right now to overhear my brilliant idea! yeah I talk out loud when I type - what's it to you? Well, it's patented so don't even think about it. Anyway ... Down to the actual infomercial itself ... yeah there really is not much to say here other than ... A-MAZING. I have never seen someone have so much difficulty using a regualr blanket as the lady in this informercial - she makes it seem like a task requiring a specific skill set and excellent hand-eye coordination. BLANKET - this product is not to be used by any person not in possession of a degree in Advanced Blanket techniques.... that being said ... how many times have you pulled up a blanket to cover your torso and your feetsies pop out and are exposed to the cold ... too many times ... TOO MANY!
All these products while baffling seem not to come close to the selection below which I will leave you with on this fine Wednesday. I hope you enjoyed the 101th POSTEBRATION and I promise I will try and update more regularly in future.
Topics: C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e, television