How I Met Your Mother Does Entertainment Weekly

So earlier this week my sister decided that she HAD to buy the last book of the Twilight series. Don't ask me what it's called because I can't remember* (read: don't want to remember). I of course was expected to take her to get it and I thought I'd run some of my own errands which included stopping into Shopper's Drug Mart. While in the checkout line The Best and Worst of 2008 edition of Entertainment weekly caught my eye and I thought i'd indulge by picking up a copy. little did I know that inside would be the most amazing feature ever! The cast of How I met Your Mother (my favourite sitcom!) reenacted some of the most popular stories in western entertainment for 2008. Check out the wicked-fantastic shots! I squealed with joy when I opened my magazine, hopefully you may get some of the same pleasure out of it... also check out the catchy theme song ("Hey Beautiful" by The Solids) to HIMYM here!

What the ....!? Bromance-Schomance The Brody Jenner Story

okay, which MTV exec got high and decided to give the Brodster a show of his own? Probably the same one who thought Whitney Port would be an intriguing person to follow around NY. This kind of shameless capitalizing on the success of The Hills (t a n g e n t a l e r t: everytime i say 'the hills' that annoying little 'aa-aa' the backup singers do from the song Unwritten pops into my head followed by the little jingling bells that make up the base of that horrible song t a n g e n t o v e r) and if we go back a few years, Laguna Beach makes me shake my head and ponder the meaning of life. Well - that was a lie, more like makes me involuntarily shudder at the fact that I used to buy into this crap - sorry still-loyal followers but that is exactly what all these shows are (excepting the second season of Laguna which was legendary) CRAP! All that aside, BROMANCE? REALLY? isn't Frankie enough friend Brody? He's definitely enough friend for Brody for ME to watch. Also ... Don't even try to tell me that Frankie and that guy from Gossip Girl don't creepily look-a-like. Trust me guys - you don't need to watch this shit parade because I already know whose going to 'win' this competition (I use the term 'win' losely here because I think we can all appreciate that winning a contest to be the 'bro of someone like Brody Jenner is the equivalent of winning a signed B44 C.D. [yeah that boy band - if you get down one me] or the opportunity to perform a solo dance routine in front of an audience of your peers, or winning a free mechanical pencil and not being supplied with lead ... I could go on but I think you get my point). So let me break the contestants down for you in no uncertain terms:
Sorry Chris but the Brodster don't chill with someone who has worse than 20/20 vision. it's rough but it's fact. I'm prety sure he'd also dump you as soon as he saw that you're still rocking those tennis wristbrands - those things were cool when I was in middle school - choose a new fad. you are not his new bro.

Michael: your brows approaching chola status - in future, don't pluck - for now, you are not Brody's new bro
Luke, Luke, Luke. What can I say? There really is nothing that could possibly salvage your chances of winning given that you're wearing a blazer that you either stole from Miami in the 80s or was designed by Lauren Conrad (burn). You are not Brody's new Bro

Check out the rest of the candidates for yourself right here, or not, I really don't care but I'm going to put my money on this guy to take the cake. (I use the term 'cake' loosely as a cake has NOT been promised to the 'winner' and the prize actually promised is no where near as acceptable as delicious baking)

Underappreciated Artists Need Love Too

Adele is so underappreciated (I don't even care if those two words actually go together like that or not). Her voice is so lovely and I just thought I might spotlight her here in my own small way. If you haven't already, check out some of her stuff...not just 'Chasing pavements'.

Cold Shoulder, Many Shades of Black, Make You Feel My Love (excellent Bob Dylan cover) are a few of my favourites. Amy's not sending anything decent our way soon I'm sure, Duffy is still coasting with Rockferry so satisfy your need for soulful uk talent with Adele.

I know I know - some will say she's getting a dandy bit of attention - but not enough in my books! =)

Joyeux Noël

So Christmas came and went and it was lovely and I was busy being Chrismasy with family so I didn't blog. That is a good thing. Now that the holiday is over and I have a little bit of free time on my hands I thought I'd give a summary of my celebrations and be done with Christmas for another year - *sugh* (typo, but i'm keeping it).

Christmas Eve was nice. My mum and step dad came over to my dad's along with some neighbours from our street and we ate lots of delicious food.

That night I got precious few hours of sleep as a I went to bed at 2am and was awoken at 6 but my sister who was extremely excited to get to open presents. we finally all pulled ourselves out of bed a 7:45 and opened Santa's gifts before enjoying a delicious breakfast and finally opening our presents at around noon. I recieved many thoughtful and fun gifts including baking supplies a book of poetry by Blake, Guess Who?, and a homeade ornament from Laura. We then went to my aunt and uncle's for Christmas dinner, which was amazing and overindulgent.

Boxing day I headed to Niagra falls with the other half of my family and hit up a corny wax museum and haunted house before going to the Copacabana Brazillian Steak House - meat, meat and more meat and no her name was not LOLA - and then enjoying martinis at the hilton penthouse lounge. All in all a delightful Christmas!

Here are some more photos including Daisy (the dog), the Lockness Turkey (my uncle's creation), and FOOD! Also is Joseph from Guess Who not foxy?

What I'm listening to: Love You Lately - Daniel Powter (old, I know, but so damn catchy!)check it: http://www.mp3raid.com/search/download-mp3/1/lately_daniel_powter/1.html

I'm so slick I'm sliding into the Penitentiary

One thing I love about returning home for the holidays is that I get to visit friends that I don't often see otherwise (I know I sound like some little old lady - but it's true). One of these friends, Ivana (check out her blog: Tombe le Neige ) shares my oft ridiculed love of documentaries. But not just any sort of documentaries - documentaries about gangs, violence and prisons - oh my! Perhaps I should start at the beginning of this obsession of mine and like most obsessions ... it starts with Oprah ...

When I was in highschool I used to come home at the end of the day and turn on Oprah. I don't like Oprah very much - if at all, but sometimes she has good shows ... sometimes. My favourite recurring guest is the always amazing Lisa Ling - whom I adore and admire almost as much as Tina Fey. Lisa often presented hardcore documentaries on crazy happenings that Oprah didn't even know existed and I loved it. I hold Lisa at least partly responsible for my unsatiable desire for knowledge about the not-so-nice side of America.

Okay, back on track: I went over to visit Ivana, not once but twice this break and we indulged in 3 documentaries from the 'Lock Up' series on MSNBC. I don't know quite how to explain the joy I get from learning about the dangerous activities of prisons or the things that come out of prisoner's mouths. I decided to give you a list of my top quotes from the three episodes I watched:

"You livin'... but you dead"

"DANIKA!!!"

"I come home drunk. I wanted some and she didn't wanna take it and called the cops"

"I'm sooo slick - I'm sliding into the penitentiary"

"Booty"

These pearls of wisdom were just some of the most awesome things I got to experience while watching these documentaries. Ivana and I also discovered the Key to the CONVICT CODE. Hold on to your hats 'cause it's a doozy. No it's not minding your own business, or even letting that jerk with the handprint tattoo take your bitchin' blue hat while you are playing chess. No, it is something much more simple ... but also complicated. In order to survive inside the chokey you need to SING. yup. We discovered that not only was the guy who sang the most happy, but he made the other prisoners happy and that means they won't knife you when you're heading to chow.

Another point of interest is the programs available within the penn walls. I'm not talking about making license plates, I'm thinking more along the lines of sewing classes the Hug-A-Thug program and my favourite Amer-I-can group! One thing is for sure, whether worrying about staying a live or if you sewed those dresses properly - prison these days is anything but boring!
(note: the pictures in this post are from Ivana's visit to Kingston this summer. Kingston has a lot of prisons - bad times, but also a Penn museum - good times!)

It's Christmas ... In OAKVILLE!

That is the name of a song I kid you not. It's not a good song ... it's not even remotely tolerable (like Same Old Lang Syne or *gasp* Christmas Shoes)... but it is my hometown's very own christmas song so I gotta represent. I'm pretty sure though that most of the people of Oakville will lie and tell you they've never heard it. I've been settling (sort of) back into to Oakville life and by that I mean I've been feverishly running around doing other people's last minute Christmas shopping. I decided to bring my camera along to capture some of the sights downtown oakville and all around. Check out pictures from the snow storm and my brother's shovelling attire below as well. Here is a link to Jamie Dryden's website (singer and songwriter of Christmas in Oakville): http://www.draytonproductions.com/christmas/

"Do you think that's bad or do you think that's normal?"

FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS HAS RETURNED ... sort of. I was looking on youtube for a flight of the conchords season two preview and was pleasantly surprised by a NEW full episode from season two! Follow this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q69TgUH9Euw&feature=related to see the new episode in its entirety. Its not their best work, but I did laugh out loud multiple times and that is good enough for me! The songs weren't that catchy, but I'd love to get a hold of some Femident. Murray as usual stole the show in my eyes ... in fact it seemed as if he was the main star of the episode. The second season officially starts sometime in January so I guess I'll have to busy myself with my season one Dvds until then!

Oakville Place ... the PLACE of NIGHTMARE PARKING

It's been a while so I thought it would be appropriate to explain why I haven't posted in a few days or a week - I can't remember. I finished exams and came home, only to be overrun by commitements I had made and some that were thrust upon me last minute. I've visited with friends, taken on part time work typing (not as easy as it sounds), seen the SOUND OF MUSIC on stage (WONDERFUL!!! - I cried mutliple times even though the boy kicking my seat kind of ruined the mood for many of the more touching scenes), and gone Christmas shopping. The latter has been a little more stressful than I though it might be. You see, I started christmas shopping all the way back in November and found most of what I wanted to buy my family in downtown Kingston (suprising, I know). There was still a few things I needed to pick up though so I've been to Square One and more recently Oakville PLace. On Friday, Kiani and I were trying to kill time waiting to meet a friend by going to the mall nearby. Bad Idea. the parking lot was incredibly packed. The fact that it had snowed a gazillion and two centimeters the day before didn't help either. we were lucky enough to find a parking spot, quite quickly. Leaving the parking lot was another story entirely. we were waiting in a ridiculously long queue to get out of the mall and this lady zooms past in her car the wrong side of the road in the parking lot. I was letting pedestrians cross so there was ample time for her to reverse a little and slide in the queue in front of me but she didn't. so when everyone had crossed I zoome up. Kiani said something to the effect of "We aren't going to let her in are we ging?" to which I replied "oh hells no!" I was having flashbacks to the infamous parking lot debacle at the Jack Johson concert this summer, when Dorcas and I had to wait over 2 hourse to get out of the parking lot - I fell asleep, I'm not going to lie. Anyway I stayed quite close to the car in front of me not giving this chick the opportunity to enter because it is against my belief system. However another car turned onto her side of the road (going the right way) and was now stuck becasue she was going the wrong way and not moving! eventually I pulle dup in line so that I was beside her and she turned to me and started yelling, like: WHAT ARE YOU DOING you have to let me in! etc. etc. Kiani went to start yelling back but I overpowered her yelling angrily back through the glass on the driver's side window. Then I admitted that I should let her in because she was blocking the other car. So i decided to give a symbolic honk of my horn when I let her in (which in my car is difficult becuase you have to press a specific part of the wheel with both hands). So while I was looking at the wheel honking my horn and she pulled in front Kiani let me know that she was sticking up her middle finger at me! BEYOTCH! she had her children in the back of the car and everything. So anyway as we made our way further out of the parking lot I let the Salvation Army van through so Kiani and I felt quite vindicated.

Happy X-mas (Exams Are Over) ... well almost!

Well the Exam season is winding down and I am looking forward to finally going home tomorrow after my last exam at 2pm. It has been an excrutiatingly long exam period since I only have three exams spread over two and a half weeks - ridiculous! To top it off, my computer has finally decided to crap out on me and I'm writing this post on my housemates computer. Hopefully I will be able to get onto my blog from my computer at home to update about all the christmas festivities including pictures ... right now I really should be packing - I have no idea how i'm going to fit my load of clothes plus all the christmas presents I've gotten everyone. For now, though, let me leave you with some video clips from America's Funniest Home Videos (best. show. ever.) I've been watching quite a bit of television in between studying for exams and AFV is some of the best of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnTr5zU15M4&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fs20ymiBcMs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Velzwi-TUno&feature=related

When Gingerbread Candy Happens to Good People...

I woke up yesterday morning and checked on our gingerbread house and saw that one candy was missing from the roof. Turns out Calvin had a little snack before leaving that morning. Little did I know that Dorcas would consume an enitire half-rooful of candy later that day. What I also did not realize is what that candy would do to Dorcas. I caught her in her natural habitat acting abnormally ... see below for some of her antics (i.e.knocking on the window at passersby):

Also check out this gingerbread white house! I think ours was comparable, no?

What I'm Listening To: Fistful of Love by Antony and the Johnsons. check it: http://www.mp3raid.com/search/download-mp3/2/antony_the_johnsons/1.html

GINGERbread House

So Calvin got the urge to build and decorate a gingerbread house and we all followed along. I went out and bought the only kit I could find, which unfortunately was severely lacking in fun, Christmas-style decorations so I had to buy some extra candy canes. What it didn't lack was a disproportionate amount of orange-coloured candy (how that is Christmas I do not know). Luckily we found a use for them when Dorcas made a ginger-haired gingerbread girl as a friend for the asian gingerbread man. check out our house and gingerbread kids below!

Fear Turducken

Yeah. It's real. Be Afraid. Be very afraid.

I'm sitting at my computer minding my own business, playing Bejeweled till my fingers are raw when Calvin mentions that he'll be 'enjoying' Turducken tomorrow. I immediately paused my game - I had to know what this Turducken was! I really shouldn't have asked. As a former vegetarian I still harbour some feelings of sympathy towards food with a face (as my uncle calls them). Well let me just give you warning, the dish (read: blasphemous meat medley) is not only ridiculous in concept, but also disgusting. The entry for Turduken on Wikipedia begins with:

" a dish consisting of a partially de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken. The thoracic cavity of the chicken and the rest of the gaps are filled with, at the very least, a highly seasoned breadcrumb mixture or sausage meat, although some versions have a different stuffing for each bird."

Okay so first of all: any food that employs the words THORACIC CAVITY in the general description is bad news. I tell you, just walk away. C'mon people! a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey?! And if that is horrendous enough the website Bacon Today (yeah, there's actually a website completely devoted to bacon, I guess I shouldn't be so surprised since I have a a blog completely devoted to my own thoughts) has an alternative to the dish in which the entire monstrocity is wrapped in BACON!!! *Shivers*. As I'm writing this post I'm also doing research on the fly about Turducken and the situation is worse than I thought. It seems everyone knows about Turducken and is OKAY with it. It actually makes me recoil in disgust from my screen everytime I look at the above picture of what I think looks like some sort of Crab monster from a poorly crafted episode of Dr. Who, but is actually a bacon-wrapped turducken feast. ew. sick. gross.

Making Good on a Promise

Okay so not really a promise but just something a mentioned in the previous post. I baked cookies! I didn't, however, listen to christmas music while doing though. I tried to make some shapes out of the second batch I put in the oven: a dog, an arrow, a fish, a stocking, a 'c', mostly though they just looked like blobs.

The Dangers of Snow

I LOVE snow! I love sports associated with snow, I love watching snow fall, I like snowmen and women. I love snowflakes, I love the look of snow. I love snowballs and snow forts. So when I opened my blinds this morning and saw there was a lovely light dusting of snow on the rooftops and the sidewalks you'd think I'd be happy. But to be honest I was more frustrated than happy. This is because quite frankly snow distracts me. I am trying to study for all my exams, and snow does not help. When I see snow I think of all the things I love about snow and doing in the snow and that it snows at Christmas and then I want to put on christmas music, movies, bake christmas cookies all at once ... instead of studying the subjunctive and indicative conjugations of eo, ire, ii, itum <-- are those even the four principal parts? I don't know because I'm thinking about snowcones ... Sigh... I think I might actually bake those cookies though ...


What I'm Listening To: GWB Fuck You Very Much- Lily Allen

check it: http://www.mp3raid.com/search/download-mp3/1/fuck_you_very_much_lily_allen/1.html

poet rna

I thought it'd be fun to only include every other letter of the show's title in my blog title - it was. Monday night is unofficially Project Runway Night at my place, at least for me anyway. I know! I know! Project Runway isn't even on right now, but yes actually it is - on SLICE. And it's a couple weeks/months (? I don't really know) its original airing. long story short: TONIGHT was the night I got to see the season 5 finale and it was pretty good. The three finalists: Korto, Leanne and Whiney Mc'tudely (read: Kenley) put on a lovely show. Leanne won although she had some stiff competition from Korto - not from what's her face, the other one. Here are a few of my favourite pieces from the final collections:

From Leanne:

From Korto:

So anyway back to Kenley. Wow is it hard to understand her when she 'talks'. Deciphering the English words that were supposedly intermingled with her cringe-worthy whining was driving me crazy. Speaking of 'cringe-worthiness', earlier today I was reading aloud from a passage from a handmade notebook that went like this:

"The Tactless Blunderer: Thoughts and feelings of seclusion and sacredness are ruthlessly laid bare by such remarks as, "Oh, but your son's lameness is getting much worse!" "I suppose you feel lonely since the death of your daughter?" "Are you really going to be divorces?" These examples sound unbelievable, yet each of these crude remarks has actually been made on occasion ..."

Without a doubt the author must've been referring to Whiney Mc'tudely. She has no people skills whatsoever. It was actually kind of sad when TIM (yay! my favourite - let's be friends!) went to visit her and she had no friends or family to introduce him to =S. Whatever, her talking back to Tim and Heidi and basically everyone on the cast and crew made Project Runway Night even more entertaining than I could have possibly imagined. PR has definitely dethroned ANTM as my favourite fashion-related show forever! (I should mention that What Not To Wear is still amazing but I don't get the channel anymore - bad times) p.s. think kenley's just been hit with the realization that her dress is fugly (in the picture above ^)

The only thing that could make Project Runway even better is if its theme song was Obsession by Animotion; you know - that song from Fashion Television, new wave he-she vocals are where it's at! Check it:http://www.mp3raid.com/search/download-mp3/2/animotion/1.html

High School Confidential

The title of this post should really be: My Guide To Wasting Valuable Study Time Online, but that seemed a little indulgent and long-winded when I typed it in, so I went with the title of a song, of course! Anyway, I was cruising facebook (another great time-waster) and found an album a friend had made with this site http://www.yearbookyourself.com/ and it is truly GOLDEN! as you can see from the pictures of my housemates and myself - there is no limit to the possibilities ... well actually there is. BUT the pictures do span 5 decades of priceless yearbook photo shells in which you can paste your own face with hilarious results. Basically an hour of precious study time down the drain, but I'm not complaining. Here some more of my favourites ...

Yeah I know - pretty fricken brilliant.

Here's the Actual High School Confidential by Rough Trade: Check it: http://www.mp3raid.com/search/download-mp3/5/high_school_confidential/1.html