What the ....!? Bromance-Schomance The Brody Jenner Story

okay, which MTV exec got high and decided to give the Brodster a show of his own? Probably the same one who thought Whitney Port would be an intriguing person to follow around NY. This kind of shameless capitalizing on the success of The Hills (t a n g e n t a l e r t: everytime i say 'the hills' that annoying little 'aa-aa' the backup singers do from the song Unwritten pops into my head followed by the little jingling bells that make up the base of that horrible song t a n g e n t o v e r) and if we go back a few years, Laguna Beach makes me shake my head and ponder the meaning of life. Well - that was a lie, more like makes me involuntarily shudder at the fact that I used to buy into this crap - sorry still-loyal followers but that is exactly what all these shows are (excepting the second season of Laguna which was legendary) CRAP! All that aside, BROMANCE? REALLY? isn't Frankie enough friend Brody? He's definitely enough friend for Brody for ME to watch. Also ... Don't even try to tell me that Frankie and that guy from Gossip Girl don't creepily look-a-like. Trust me guys - you don't need to watch this shit parade because I already know whose going to 'win' this competition (I use the term 'win' losely here because I think we can all appreciate that winning a contest to be the 'bro of someone like Brody Jenner is the equivalent of winning a signed B44 C.D. [yeah that boy band - if you get down one me] or the opportunity to perform a solo dance routine in front of an audience of your peers, or winning a free mechanical pencil and not being supplied with lead ... I could go on but I think you get my point). So let me break the contestants down for you in no uncertain terms:
Sorry Chris but the Brodster don't chill with someone who has worse than 20/20 vision. it's rough but it's fact. I'm prety sure he'd also dump you as soon as he saw that you're still rocking those tennis wristbrands - those things were cool when I was in middle school - choose a new fad. you are not his new bro.

Michael: your brows approaching chola status - in future, don't pluck - for now, you are not Brody's new bro
Luke, Luke, Luke. What can I say? There really is nothing that could possibly salvage your chances of winning given that you're wearing a blazer that you either stole from Miami in the 80s or was designed by Lauren Conrad (burn). You are not Brody's new Bro

Check out the rest of the candidates for yourself right here, or not, I really don't care but I'm going to put my money on this guy to take the cake. (I use the term 'cake' loosely as a cake has NOT been promised to the 'winner' and the prize actually promised is no where near as acceptable as delicious baking)