Fear Turducken

Yeah. It's real. Be Afraid. Be very afraid.

I'm sitting at my computer minding my own business, playing Bejeweled till my fingers are raw when Calvin mentions that he'll be 'enjoying' Turducken tomorrow. I immediately paused my game - I had to know what this Turducken was! I really shouldn't have asked. As a former vegetarian I still harbour some feelings of sympathy towards food with a face (as my uncle calls them). Well let me just give you warning, the dish (read: blasphemous meat medley) is not only ridiculous in concept, but also disgusting. The entry for Turduken on Wikipedia begins with:

" a dish consisting of a partially de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken. The thoracic cavity of the chicken and the rest of the gaps are filled with, at the very least, a highly seasoned breadcrumb mixture or sausage meat, although some versions have a different stuffing for each bird."

Okay so first of all: any food that employs the words THORACIC CAVITY in the general description is bad news. I tell you, just walk away. C'mon people! a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey?! And if that is horrendous enough the website Bacon Today (yeah, there's actually a website completely devoted to bacon, I guess I shouldn't be so surprised since I have a a blog completely devoted to my own thoughts) has an alternative to the dish in which the entire monstrocity is wrapped in BACON!!! *Shivers*. As I'm writing this post I'm also doing research on the fly about Turducken and the situation is worse than I thought. It seems everyone knows about Turducken and is OKAY with it. It actually makes me recoil in disgust from my screen everytime I look at the above picture of what I think looks like some sort of Crab monster from a poorly crafted episode of Dr. Who, but is actually a bacon-wrapped turducken feast. ew. sick. gross.