Take Your Carriage Clock And Shove It

Pearl & Frankie

EPISODE 1: Pearl, in Italy, coaxes Frankie into yet another argument....

Pearl (p): she's my kinda lady
Frankie: lol ... wait what about ME bitch
Pearl: well you're ok i guess i am so tired
Frankie: just OKAY?!?! Omg that is such a KATE thing to say
Pearl: haha - ugh of course even iNTERNATIONALLY we have problems - ughh
Frankie: well ... you think I don't realize why you signed up for this G8 stuff in the first place??? You Think I Can't Tell when i'm being AVOIDED ... internationally!?
Pearl: you just cant let go of that CAN YOU?
Frankie: I'm sorry but it has to be said
Pearl: sigh, eye roll
Frankie: no, not when you are macking on every Italian boy who prances past with greasy hair and a questionably strong body odor
I KNOW YOU
I KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE
I KNOW YOUR TYPE
and i've known from the beginning that I'm not it
but still i TRIED!
I TRIED TO MAKE IT WORK for
me
for you
for .... US ... and aaden obviously... but you've gone off gallivanting to some god forsaken place while I am left to work two jobs (day: market research, evening: clothed-stripper) carting AAden around with me because I can't afford daycare - and even if i could - you know how he is, he can't help but showboat his intelligence and it hurts the other children!
Pearl: omg HILARIOUS i am laughing out loud shit
Frankie: oh of course - my HEART is hilarious to you ...meanwhile i'm back on the sauce and AAden has taken to ketamin and peach schnapps ... yes AA-den: because i've enrolled him in AA ... because he's a DRUNK - just to get your attention *sobs*
Pearl: Oh no you cannot and WILL not place this all on me
i am here ALL DAY (REPEAT: ALL DAY) researching and drinking endless cappuccinos to provide for your drunk ass
Frankie: i never thought my life would turn out like this ... *gets up - paces about the room - looks in the mirror - screams "WHY?!?!"- sits down - puts on Miley Cyrus' "The Climb" - rocks back and forth to the beat staring into the middle distance contemplating the purpose of her life
Pearl: OMG CANT STOP LAUGHING ...eat time,gotta go be right back
Frankie: pfft providing - if you mean giving me a $5 a week allowance
for clothes and misc. necessities
when you KNOW "bowel Buddies" cost 15 bucks alone - song changes to Area Codes by Ludacris - remembers that this was suppose to be their first dance at their wedding ... until Pearl decided that she wasn't emotionally mature enough to make the M-commitment....
message pops up:
Pearl is busy. You may be interrupting.