Fauxcoming

(fauxcoming 2009 - this obviously doesn't rep homecoming as a whole, don't get it twisted =D)

So tonight is the culmination of unofficial Homecoming at Queen's after its cancellation last year. Though I braved the crowds and rain and mud last year on Aberdeen I definitely skipped out this year, why?:

1) It cold for reals

2) Still feel a bit icky from last night's shenanigans

3) ILLEGAL (.... debatable)

4) So much more fun to follow the liveblog on the Journal's website from my couch.

(homecoming 2008)

The party I was at last night was broken up by cops just for overcrowding (and probably noise bylaw violation) and that wasn't even the main fauxcoming night so I've had enough cop exposure for one weekend thank you. Also had one of those "I will never drink again!" mornings-days, riding around Kingston on the bus did not remedy this feeling.

My Favourite Overheards on Aberdeen thus far:

“Look at my missed calls! So many people are miss-calling me because I’m having so much fun.” -Drunken first year who just can’t get enough

Cop #1: “What would you rather be doing tonight?”
Cop #2: “I’d rather be drinking.”

“A cop came up to me and thought I had a red cup. The cop said ‘Where’s your red cup?’ I said, ‘I don’t have a red cup, I have a carrot. I want to feed the horses.” -Guy holding a big orange carrot, talking to his friend.

Cop to guy on lawn: “I’m getting paid, bro, that’s all I care about.”
Guy on lawn: “You should come have a beer with us after!”

See! It's good times all around. Hope everyone has a safe and FUN night - that is what it's all about .... also mounted police

Freudian

Tonight in my superfun last class of the week, Media and Pop Culture, the prof showed us this commercial from a few years ago - It is now one of my all time favourites. The whole thing is fantastic but I definitely collapsed in giggles around the 1:09 mark when the baby pulled a move I've come to know well from watching Locked Up Raw - the old, use a mirror to see if someones coming to shank you. also love the genius use of a bra as jump rope - this is a baby after my own heart. Enjoy!

I did experience a bit of trepidation when considering how Oedipal the whole concept is, but at the end of the day it's jokes and I love it.

Also, why the dad is in his underwear 90% of the commercial is beyond. This woman has obviously married a computer generated layabout...

Tears of a Rapper

I know this delayed, but it seems as if the whole internet is okay with inflating this Kanye West Gate thing into an internet phenomenon and as such - meme, so I figure it's okay if I just add my own little patch to the quilt of it. I am over it, I was over it the day after it happened - I think everyone else should be too, but looking at some of these clever little pictures makes me giggle and I am not ashamed. Watching that clip of Kanye on Leno (awful and at points I felt exploitative and inappropriate) made me think immediately of the perpetually jovial Flight of the Conchords and their Hurt Feelings, please enjoy with some of my favourite creations as a result of Kanye-Gate 2009... and remember kids ... rappers are vincible.

Ominous Puddle Part 2

The Ominous Puddle is Back... yet I don't remember there being much rain in the past weeks ... another reason to call it ominous I suppose. If you're late to the party or have selective memory: THIS will help.

Today little birdies were throwing a social bathing party in it ... maybe it isn't so ominous after all. Obviously the birds weren't quite as pretty as the one in this picture - they were litle black birds and couple of the local thug pigeons that live in the little space between my place and the building next door.

Update: The birds are back!

picture source: sametimenxtyr @ deviant art

Mac Myth

First week of classes is finished - yay weekend! Yup, you read correctly - I have Fridays off this semester and you're jealous. I'm a lucky girl. In some respects that is. In others .... well I will be forced to read aloud and translate Chaucer for my Middle English seminar and have already butchered Sir Olfeo in class today. Flashbacks to Latin - cue constant public academic humiliation. Anyway .... guess who is not such a lucky girl? My fellow blogette; her Mac is acting up. I thought Macs were supposed to be wonder magic machines ... guess I thought wrong - thus proving the dangers of independent thought. This sitch with the computer is definitely testing the ability for long distance communication though - thank god for blackberries! .... this all reminds me on my new favourite dancy-poprockelectro song:

Love Long Distance - Gossip (Lurrrrrvvv Ditto's voice)

Related Note: So, while I'm a little surprised that the aforementioned Mac is unreliable I am no fan of them in general. I basically hate macs because when I was in elementary and middle school those fugly coloured mac desktops came out and the school bored (nonsexual freudian slip?!) was like "hey rad - colours - let's buy all new computers, but only in pink and orange." I've never had a Mac at home and I'm sure neither did many of my peers, so WHY the school board insisted on exclusively buying Macs is beyond me. Besides that, they were (and continue to be for me at least) counter intuitive to use and my computer lab classes often ended in confusion and frustration along with some healthy mac hate. And now that I'm in university where pretty much every student owns a laptop, my hatred has grown to encompass the holier-than-thou mac owners ... stfu girl with hot pink mac. I'll readily admit that I am no lover of PCs either, thou. I regularly curse out my Toshiba laptop - It deserves it. But something about the pretentiousness surround Macs and their user irks me.

Less Personal Related Note: while I was looking for a cute picture to put with my post (in the hopes of having the same effect as Bedazzling does to tired old denim) I stumbled upon this random superniched (yeah, I created a word - what) website for lawyers who use macs ... yeah ...pretentiousssssss. Anyway a guest lawyer, moonlighting (very poorly I might add) as a blogger took a sip of haterade then posted about some Microsoft commercials. Alls I can say is he's not doing much for my confidence in his lawyering skills if this is his argument style .... Also probably good he's not in advertising ... I'm pretty sure Mac wouldn't be down with emphasizing the cost margin between your average PC and their fancypants Macbook.

Another Reason to Love...

Check it.

Yes Yes YES!!!!

Nancy vs. Nancyboy

yup ... just as bad, I say.

When the original "You LIE" video went bumbling round the internet my fist thought was - Nancy Pelosi got some attitude and I LOVE-IT. I love it 10,000 times more with this "mashup" as it were.

Welcome to My Nightmare

I Lurv Gaga, buuuuuuut..... this is image will haunt my nightmares tonight:

ROBBED!

JARED JARED JARED *fan girl drool*

He took that unforgiveable loss to Greenday VERY well

Aww Ms. Swift

=( I have this love/hate relationship with Kanye West but he messed with the WRONG GIRL - Taylor is my homegirl and I do not support that shit! I have the HATES in a major way right now - seriously wiped a tear from my eye - my hand was all shaky and ridiculousness! Kanye, how could ya be so HEARTLESS (see what I did there?)

ps. where are my Kings - if they're there they best be cutting to them now ... ooh rock video awa-JARED?! *squeels*

VMAs 2009: Thoughts-on-the-Fly

Okay so not a real live blog, just my thoughts ... as they pop into my head

First Up

Are pink and Shakira wearing the Same Dress?!

O.M.G. Lady Gaga - Amazing - I am so excited for her to kick ass! (please don't let me down)

Did Buzz Aldrin say: "G-narls Barkely"???

If it's not Taylor Swift in that carriage I am gonna smack someone.

I'll Give you $100

Sometimes I just can't help myself ... when something is so funny I laugh out loud by myself.

Just because it's saturday and just because I have my own blog so I CAN:

David Blaine Street Magic 2 - watch more funny videos

200-eth

I can't believe in all my internet frivoling over the past month or so that I forgot one of my favourite Sunday sites, Post Secret. I know it's not Sunday, and I know this isn't even one of the most recent secrets but I <3 it in a majah* (like Posh would say) way.

p.s. Happy 200th post self. *solo air high five*

Fireplace sans Fire: It be tricksy

This be so tricksy. Not really, but tricksy is Google's choice word of the day and I thought to myself: self, there is an opportunity to employ this word in a new and instantly loveable catchphrase, no? Unsurprisingly, I'm sure the rest of the world with disagree. But one must soldier on - this is sort of tricksy in a way because the designer has repurposed this lovely fireplace to display vases with fresh flowers - darling. You can check out other ideas for fireplaces sans fire at apartment therapy if you feel so inclined.

WW_D?

This weekend I am charged with looking after my three youngish cousins. I brought their dog, Daisy, with me to pick them up at the bus stop which is oddly enough in front of another school, none of which attend. The bus was either late or I was given incorrect information to begin with because I ended up waiting around at least 15 minutes, during which I was witness to a questionable something. As I artfully prevented Daisy from eating (too many) plants and blades of grass a group of youngish (at least shortish) teenagers in a field behind the school caught my eye. There were at least 20 and huddled in a circle. I have 20/16 (as never let anyone forget) but I could not figure out what the hell was going on. I heard the odd F bomb but not in an especially angry tone, no one seemed to be too worked up - but still I watched. Then a smaller group broke away and then two more boys did the same and it quickly became clear that one of them was some sort of target. I flashed back quickly to the bloody images I've seen of MS-13 members getting 'jumped in' and had a bit of a panic attack. What the hell am I supposed to do when people start randomly fighting. It didn't look so bad - almost as if it was play fighting, but I couldn't be sure. It was over quickly and the offenders left - but the boy who received the pseudo blows called after one which obviously was like poking a bear and the boy came running and ended up throwing the other boys Bike around. Yeah - this is pretty much how grade 9 fights go down in Oakville. I was tut tutting the adults who walked by or watched and said nothing then realized - I'M JUST LIKE THEM. But really what could I do? I could sic Daisy on them, letter her lick them a couple times and then run. Or I could just let it play out - no one got hurt really, but everyone got away with what they did.

Gleeful

I love discovering something new to love. Especially when it involves peppy musical numbers, punchy one liners and cute/painful ongoing gags. So naturally I love the new show GLEE.

Unavoidably first on the list of reasons why is the musical joy I get from watching the actors inject a sense of musical theatre into high school scenarios by covering old and new jems from Rihanna to Journey, Kanye to Les Mis.

Secondly - who doesn't love a bit of guilt-free, oh-so-fun, never negative peppy tv? So many other shows take themselves to seriously (new Melrose), too "reality" or are too bland. Glee is just having a good time.

Finally, I must admit to my girl crush on Sue Sylvester. ADORE!!!! I guess to be more accurate my girls crush is on the brilliant Jane Lynch who plays her. Jane was spectacular in Best in Show and 40 Year Old Virgin and more recently Post Grad. With her role as the crazy Cheerio coach Sue I am loving her almost as much as my longterm idol, demigod Tina Fey. In fact, while looking of a photo of her for this post I discovered she had twitter and immediately signed up to partake in jems such as:

Contracted a wicked case of H1N1. You know how I'm going to fight it? Willpower

Thinks "marrying and having children" is some kind of pyramid scheme.

I have prior stayed as far away from the tweet scene as possible but I just had to get in on her hilarity.

AAden: Aw Hells No Photo pt. 2

Can YOU spot AAden?!Right you are: he is, of course the one who looks as if he has just broken out into a swift run as he is about to flee this circus for greener pastures ... oh if only that great big fence weren't in the way! better luck next time chap.

....

And now, let's take a moment to examine the subjects of this charming family photo ....BY NUMBERS! It looks like the Gosselins have opened up their very own petting zoo of some sort - and it's not hard to see why...1) Here we have a girl who has stopped by the Gosselin petting zoo and thoughtfully brought some candy and trivial pursuit cards (obvs for AAden) to lure the children closer.

2) Jon Gosselin's next fling, sorry, "girlfriend", sorry, NANNY.

3) Pedo - hard to spot without the trademark glasses, but just as dangerous...

4) What no Ed Hardy, Jon?! Is the world ending, the sky falling? or maybe he just hasn't done laundry in a while...

5) Not actually Gosselin children - "stunt doubles" the real girls are in their trailers .. they only do magazine shoots now, earning most of their doe by selling family secrets to to tabloids.

6) ..... the "special" one, probably Joel.

The Grind pt. 2: Simlish etc.

Growl. I don't know why, but I just felt like typing that. I got so much unpacking done last night just before bed. It's easiest to work then because it's not so hot in my room and I usually can't get to sleep easily so I can toddle around doing useful things until I crash. Also, earlier in the day I strategically unloaded all my clothes onto my bed so that I wouldn't be able to sleep (comfortably, at least) until I put them away. Today I cleaned, reposted posters, organized books and binders and tried countless time to play SIMS2 - that's probably why I wanted to type growl - everytime I play my computer is not cool with it and crashes. Why, God, WHY?!?! The clip above is just Lily in Simlish - yay don't act like you're too cool for this craziness - gawd I love the Sims!

Anyway....I guess I'm gonna try and play again now. It's just like when you have piping hot coffee or hot chocolate and you want to drink it, so even though you know you're going to burn you're tongue you go in for another sip and .... surprise! burned again. *sigh*

What I'm listening to:

Got My Favourite - Jack Penate

This is one of his earliest released songs (I think from 2007) and I love it with all my heart, reminds me of a male Kate Nash (maybe it's jsut the accent). The best part? The lyrics! They so perfectly explain why I like to buy "things".

I got my favourite gold signet ring

The one that gives me power to sing

From my mum who I owe all things

Love forevers written within

Of course we know that these are all for show

To decorate my limbs and let us know

That through these things a constant love will flow

With them we are not on our own

Kings Town, Back Again

Currently in Kingston, chillin' at my apartment ... well the "in Kingston ... at my apartment" part is true at least. You see, I got up here yesterday afternoon and the wireless wasn't working. I tried plugging in my N64 (ghetttoooooo) and it was only black and white. Things were just not going my way. I had to walk to campus to use one of the solar powered computers at Stauff (ghettooooooox2) and then nothing was open because it's Sunday. argh. I did however finally book a hair appointment - haven't cut my hair since I posted about it months ago, and picked up shampoo - how'd I forget that?! Luckily Dorcas dropped by to unload a bunch of her things before heading back Toronto and set everything straight - internet is clearly working now, and N64 is technicolour!! Now I just need to get 'round to unpacking all my ridiculousness and cleaning - oh TOMORROW!

What I'm Listening to:

Frontier City (a Bside) - Kings of Leon

Well I've converted another to the wonder of KOL - I haven't felt the way I feel about KOL since I first started listening to the Strokes oh so many years ago and I'm glad my fellow Strokes enthusiast has hopped on the musical bandwagon!

Special Delivery Courtesy of Gaga Post pt. Deux

How did I miss this gold nugget of a performance at the MMVA's by GAGA?! Oh right - I gots no tv at the home place.

Question: where can I buy one of those sparkler bra/corset things - they crazy.

Post Grad: Post Viewing Remarks

The other day I took my recently-turned 12 year old sister to the movies for her birhtday. She wanted to see Post Grad, and although I'd rather watch Star Trek, again, it was her birthday - her choice. Now it is time for my very own review.

First of all. Cute, snappy title. Unfortunately it names the group of people most likely to be offended or groaning during the movie, rather than it's target audience. I am 1 year younger than the main character, Ryden Malby, and was the only one of that demographic chilling in the theatre.

Secondly. Cast of wonderful actors with nothing to do. The credits read like something that should be funny, but the film was lack lustre to say the very least. There were funny parts - after Ryden accidently breaks a casket the family straps it up on their roof and drives home, running into a group of latino gangsters who pour their liquor out on the road in a sign respect - this made me laugh - then die a little because no one else was laughing and that was definitely the funniest part.

Finally, and this is big, the ending was a groan-worthy affair. SPOILER ALERT - bahaha, like you don't know how these movies always end. Ryden chooses the boy OVER her career. The job she's spent the whole film moaning about and lusting after is conviently and quickly forgotten. Am I really supposed to believe she dropped it, and geographical closeness to her family, for a boy who plays droopy, sad guitar chords? Nahh. Besides that, what is this teaching the young girls, like my sister, who actually wanted to see this movie? I'll tell you what it's teaching them - Career is important, but not as important as being some manboy's special girl. You know what Rory Gilmore -- I mean Ryden Malby --- Shame!! Although I always forgive you because you look identical to one of my favouritest cousins... but still!!!

Who Needs Enemies? Prank War, Status Go.

Today I was innocently g-chatting with my fellow blogette when she decided to have a little fun. I had been complaining about this and that and expressing my general crabbiness - information she then exploited for the purpose of THIS

If we are being accurate here, I will fill in some of the gaps ....

TD is the only bank I do business with that harrasses me regularly for participation in surveys and new offers. TD is not my main bank and if they keep this up, they surely won't be. While I don't understand their policy of constant telephone sales, I understand that this is the burden I must bear in return for their very convenient hours and online banking. What I will not accept is innappropriate sales tactics such as I was forced to endure a couple months ago from a pushy telemarketer lady who propsed I should buy life insurance and when I consistently refused saying my mum would take care of it she responded: "Well what if you're mom was in a car crash and died?" I told her that I was lucky enough to also have a father. "Well what if they were both in the same car accident and died." I was so disgusted - apoplectic with rage and disbelief that I retorted: "They'd be fine!" and proceeded to hang up, hearing her smugly ask "They'd be fine?" as I did. I have regretted ever since hanging up the phone that day - I should have laid into her right then and there, ask for her supervisor etc. But I was so shocked and angry that I couldn't think rationally.

Since then I've received numerous calls from them, but always miss them until the last two weeks in which they've phoned thrice at the same time - the first two times I politely told them to call me back in the evening while not at work. The third: I did my business. I told them their policy was concerning at the least, offensive at most and always inconsiderate and poorly timed. I told the poor lady who had nothing to do with any of it I'm sure, that I had been forced to imagine a scenario in which both my parents had been killed violently (car crashes are violent y'all) and had been called while I was at work on multiple occasions including this one. I asked her to take me off their call list immediately and never call me again.

So you can imagine my rage when I get a call saying that I requested a call from them today. I said slowly "No... I did not ask you to call me back" my voice crescendoing reaching it's peak with "I told you to TAKE ME OFF YOUR CALL LIST. DON'T EVER CALL ME AGAIN!!" then slammed my phone off.

Minutes later I sheepishly realized the call was a prank from Ivana avec frere and began to feel like the biggest tool in the box. Who needs enemies with friends like this, eh?

Prank Wars are go.

What I'm Head Boppin' To (to soften the blow)

Teen Lovers - The Virgins

Broken Glass

These shananigans happened last week but I neglected to report so now let me warn you: DO NOT buy cheap American Eagle sunglasses! Just take a look at what happened to mine after 2 years. So admittedly they owe me nothing since they were only about $16, but STILL! Thank heaven's for the real thing.

Chaiwalla!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

I had some downtime at work today and ended up browsing through the online edition of my university's student-run paper, The Journal. I happened upon the Frosh Extra section and got this feeling of excitement in the pit of my stomach. I am so looking forward to going back to school for my last year, though it is sure to be bitter-sweet... but this is nothing new.
I start of each school year starry eyed, optimistic and hopeful. I end each year overworked and cursing latin, shakespeare and slow campus group walkers. (who walks in groups on campus other than frosh, which is just another reason to get a case of the crabbycakes)

Besides all that though, this is the time of the year with the best weather, least work, and most optimism - and that's good with me! Another good thing? Summer job is almost done and employers treated me to lunch at Stoney's! Had a delish chicken curry sandwich with apricots and almonds on whole wheat bread followed by cranberry-laced biscotti dipped in a frothy, sweet cappuccino. Yumm! =D Also received this charming mug covered in my duties throughout the summer. After watching Slumdog Millonnair (<-Don't hate on spelling - that's how the host pronounced it in the movie!) everything I did was followed by the label walla - starting with tea prep obviously.

Right Now: I'm watching Sicko, falling in love with Tommy Douglas and Hillary Clinton al over again!

Top 3 ...Reasons to Buy Ed Hardy

Woo it has been a while, no? I had a bit of a hard time coming up with a Top 3 this time - nothing in particular has struck my fancy for some time now. But where there is a will, there is a way. Today's Top 3 is brought to you by my conscience. To elaborate: the otehr day I was in style sense, which has been under particular attack from goods by Ed Hardy, and I saw a little cardboard sign with the Ed Hardy logo - I wanted so badly to take it. It was in the clearance section unaccompanied by actual merchandise and didn't seem to be of any use so I thought - why can't I have it? But I didn't take it .... because of my conscience. Well that and the fact that my purse was too small to fit it discreetly.

And now:

TOP 3 Reasons to buy ED HARDY "things" - I say things because Monsieur Audigier has his greasy (well, not anymore thanks to Ed Hardy hand sanitizer) paws in every pot.

1) Celebrity Endorsers. one quick scan of the "celebrity" gallery on the Ed Hardy page let's you

know that D and D- listers alike, simplyadore wearing the uniform de la douche. Okay, so Madonna slipped in there for a quick minute, but let's be honest, Madge's fashion choices aren't exactly ruling the masses anymore nowadays ... okay okay honestly maybe there is something to this celebrity gallery I mean- if you wear Ed Hardy it's practically like you are best friends with any one of; Zac Ephron, Bill Clinton, Snoop Dogg, etc. ... except that Zac is wearing Ed Hardy for the movie 17 again in which he is mercilessly comparedto KFED and Snoop Dogg isnot wearing any Ed Hardy at all, but rather, has been accosted by Christian for the sole purpose of his website I'm sure.

2) Christian Audigier. This man has a balls to the walls fashion sense. He has umpteen million different lines that are all equally fug, and yet he just don't stop. I feel like he drinks red bull dips his face in coke (not the drink) then showers in liquid AXE before roamin whatever town he's travelling through looking for pseudo famouses to accost with his Canon Elph camera (in red/pink with rhiestones). Surprise: I. Love. It.

3) Cost Per Wear. My mom always told me to think about a clothing

purchase in terms of cost per wear. How much is the item? And how often can you really honestly see yourself wearing it? And so, my third reason to buy Ed Hardy is cost per wear, because we all know that an Ed Hardy top is something you can wear with anything, on any occasion, right? Example: You've just been invited to the movies! throw on you're Ed Hardy tshirt that reads: love/blah/tatoo - Not only will you create a mystique about yourself, but you will also scare off

annoying little children who might sit near you and ruin your movie with their "too young to know to be poilte" comments, i.e. "Mum. Mum. MOMMY! - why is that person wearing that rainbow bright sparkle shirt with the daggar?!"... Grandma's having a strawberry social? No biggie! Just throw on your rhinestone encrustedd growling tiger trucker cap (I am not going to lie - I made up that design ... then, because it's Ed Hardy, and they've already reached a level of tackiness my brain can neither create nor comprehend - they had actually made one). Every grandma lurvs a class act like that.