Public Transit Courtesy

Dear fellow traveler,

Hi there. Cold out today isn't it. I have to wear my mittens even when I'm inside the bus becuase it's so cold. And you know what? They have absolutely zero grip on those slippery metal rails, so sorry if I fall over onto when the bus turns the corner ... actually ... I'm not sorry. Not sorry in the slightest. You want to know why? Well I'm going to tell you anyway. YOU ARE TAKING UP 2 SEATS ON A CROWDED BUS, WHILE MYSELF AND OTHERS ARE FORCED TO STAND THE ENTIRE WAY, GETTING JOSTLED ABOUT AND SLIDING AROUND. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. Who the hell do you think you are? I'm sorry, do you own this bus? No. Did you pay more to ride on this bus today? No, I didn't think so. Are you elderly? No. Do you have a physical disability? No - well, you may soon. How dare you look out the window while I look to see if there's room beside you. Don't flatter yourself - I don't want to sit beside you. But I also don't want to go sliding down the row or onto another passenger because I couldn't grip the pole properly. How dare you sit on the outside seat of a double seat! You should be ashamed of yourself - shove OVER! Why must you sit on the outside so people can't use that other seat? Oh, I see, I see. You are getting off shortly, the next stop maybe, my mistake. Hey, here's a suggestion: MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET UP ENTIRELY so those of us travelling past the next few stops can do it safely. Am I speaking another language here? did I stutter? HAVE SOME RESPECT - It's almost CHRISTMAS!!!

Respectfully yours,
C.

SNL: ZZZZzzzz

Ugh. Watching SNL last night I couldn't help but think to myself; remember when SNL was somewhat tolerable? Yeah, tolerable. I am nowhere near old enough to remember when SNL was excellent or even good - I am part of a generation that knows SNL as the show that sometimes has special cameos during Weekend Update, when Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon basically salvaged whatever there was to salvage of the show. Now that they are gone and Tina is no longer a writer, watching the show has become increasingly uncomfortable and much like a televised awards show: Actors read their lines uncomfortably while making the lamest small chat and jokes (which they know are terrible making the delivery 10x worse) and the audience tunes in for the first 1/2 hour, 45 minutes if they are really into masochism, and then groan and switch channels or as the case may be - go to bed. Besides the unstoppable downhill roll SNL has found itself in for some years now, last night was a particularly poor showing for the following reasons:

1 - Am I the ONLY person who finds January Jones' total lack of acting ability troubling given the attention she's received for Mad Men? Also - did that show's season not just end? Why in the world was she hosting? - snooze. The whole Deer in the Headlights look was understandale for the first 30 seconds of her monologue but after that it just got sad. Then it got irritating. Then I turned off my T.V.
2 - I heart Grace Kelly; If you are going to do a sketch about her at least try and make it intelligent funny - not 12 year old boy funny *fart*
3 - Just because she's famous and on a psuedopopular television show does not mean she should be hosting SNL. If ya ain't got the chops you shouldn't have the job.

In all fairness - Ms. Jones did have a tough act to follow - last week's SNL was surprisingly entertaining even if I didn't collapse in giggles, I did smirk often and Taylor was fabulous. Perhaps the weeks should have been reversed?
The sad thing is that it just does not seem to be getting better - ever. The only entertaining and in fact memorable bits of SNL from the past couple of years have been the Digital Shorts - and those aren't even live. I still go back and watching my favourites - like Lazy Sunday or Jonah Hill Dates Andy's Dad (which I watched last night on youtube only to find it removed from the site this morning!) - priceless ... but not enough to save this show I'm afraid. What they DO need is some original and funny recurring characters that younger viewers can get behind. Other than that, I'm at a loss.

The Whole (soft, moisturizing and smooth) Story

A week ago I blogged about a friend's unreasonable obsession with Nivea hand cream. And though I didn't lie or make any false claims, I also wasn't completely honest about my own relationship with hand cream, or perhaps more appropriately: hand creams.

The above is a photo of some of my various hand creams and body butters. I realize it's a bit much, but I can't help it. In fact - I blame my mother. Out of all those products pictured, I've personally purchased 2. My mum is the one who gives me most of these. One might call her my supplier - it wouldn't be far fetched to do so. Though, I'm not so innocent as to refuse hand creams and body butters when generously offered or gifted, I definitely don't demand them like my fellow blogette. And in that sense I think I'll stay comfy up here on my high horse.

Pot Belly Bonanza

According to my calculations - every wannabe, blonde ambitionist, pseudo starlet will have a pot belly pig by the end of the month. And here I thought only George Clooney and country folk had pigs for pets ... wrong! While I agree that baby pot belly pigs, a la the telus piglet, are oh-so-cute, I hate that they are being made into a celebrity trend. Only one thing can come as a result of it - stupid girls buying a baby pig and not understanding that it will eventually, and probably sooner rather than later, turn into this:

At which point they will no longer be able, nor have interest in taking care of it. *sad*. This is why I will limit my indulgence in this trend to searching "pot belly piglet" on Google Images .... oh and working out with Miss Piggy, obviously.

And just so you guys know: That second picture above is actually the same cute piggy as in the first one - just full grown. And his name is Sparky. And he has his very own website, because he's that kind of cool: http://www.sparkythepig.com/. And apparently hes loves to chill to music - which makes him my favourite thing in life.
One more thing: Judging from this picture --> he is also the kindred spirit of my dog Angus. And I'm about all pig pictured out for today .... Psyche!!!!! There is NO SUCH THING AS TOO MANY PIGGY PICTURES!!!

8

This gave me chills - the bad kind

If there is one thing that turns my stomach more than discrimination and hate - it is when d&h masquerades as morally upright religious beliefs and therefore an acceptable prejudice to support. How can people who have lived longer lives than myself still reason like confused and hateful children half my age? Blindly following an archaic "Religious" belief is not a sane reason to treat those with a different sexuality than one's self as less than human. For shame.

Julius, we need to talk.

AHHHH - my computer is driving me CARAZY. More so than usual even. On average I contemplate throwing my computer out the window or at the very least punching in the screen about 5-10 times a day. Today however I have been on the verge of technological destruction about twice as much and 10x more intensely. Firstly my computer, Julius or Jules for short, did its regular "I don't feel like loading that page, so deal" and "Shockwave don't work" dance right off the bat this morning. Then it proceeded to have what I can only describe as the laptop version of an epileptic fit in which all the items on my desktop disappeared then reappeared constantly until I finally shut the computer off completely and manually (I do this about 5 times a day). I downloaded a couple new songs to refresh my pod then hooked up 'podulus maximus'. I then had to manually disconnect my ipod because my computer had frozen AGAIN. I came back to my pod a little while ago and it is ENTIRELY empty - this is some Lovely-bones-shit. I have a feeling my computerknows I've been searching for a new laptop and has decided to go out with a bang. I was trying to print out cost summaries for new laptops the other day and my computer was all "Awww Hells NO! Not Like THIS!" .... I swear Jules knows. I wish I could be like the girl in the first picture - in control and master of my computer ... however I feel more like the chick below...Fun Quesyion of the Dat (yes i know there's a typo but I'm kinda in love with it):

How long did it take me to draft this nifty post?

(a) 10 minutes

(b) 15 minutes

(c) 10 minutes for writing - 45 minutes misc computer-taming (aka loading blogger, pictures, dealing with frozen browser etc.)

If you picked a or b - u iz stoopid.

pictures from picassoswoman on flickr

Where the Cougars Are

When I saw the Headline: Where the Cougars Are in my september National Geographic (which I've just gotten a chance to read now at Thanksgiving) my brain first processed the word cougar as in a woman of a certain age or maturity who dates much younger men. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Also, what is wrong with the definition of Cougar on urban dictionary? I'm awful at spelling - this entry is criminal. For shame!

Fauxcoming

(fauxcoming 2009 - this obviously doesn't rep homecoming as a whole, don't get it twisted =D)

So tonight is the culmination of unofficial Homecoming at Queen's after its cancellation last year. Though I braved the crowds and rain and mud last year on Aberdeen I definitely skipped out this year, why?:

1) It cold for reals

2) Still feel a bit icky from last night's shenanigans

3) ILLEGAL (.... debatable)

4) So much more fun to follow the liveblog on the Journal's website from my couch.

(homecoming 2008)

The party I was at last night was broken up by cops just for overcrowding (and probably noise bylaw violation) and that wasn't even the main fauxcoming night so I've had enough cop exposure for one weekend thank you. Also had one of those "I will never drink again!" mornings-days, riding around Kingston on the bus did not remedy this feeling.

My Favourite Overheards on Aberdeen thus far:

“Look at my missed calls! So many people are miss-calling me because I’m having so much fun.” -Drunken first year who just can’t get enough

Cop #1: “What would you rather be doing tonight?”
Cop #2: “I’d rather be drinking.”

“A cop came up to me and thought I had a red cup. The cop said ‘Where’s your red cup?’ I said, ‘I don’t have a red cup, I have a carrot. I want to feed the horses.” -Guy holding a big orange carrot, talking to his friend.

Cop to guy on lawn: “I’m getting paid, bro, that’s all I care about.”
Guy on lawn: “You should come have a beer with us after!”

See! It's good times all around. Hope everyone has a safe and FUN night - that is what it's all about .... also mounted police

Who Needs Enemies? Prank War, Status Go.

Today I was innocently g-chatting with my fellow blogette when she decided to have a little fun. I had been complaining about this and that and expressing my general crabbiness - information she then exploited for the purpose of THIS

If we are being accurate here, I will fill in some of the gaps ....

TD is the only bank I do business with that harrasses me regularly for participation in surveys and new offers. TD is not my main bank and if they keep this up, they surely won't be. While I don't understand their policy of constant telephone sales, I understand that this is the burden I must bear in return for their very convenient hours and online banking. What I will not accept is innappropriate sales tactics such as I was forced to endure a couple months ago from a pushy telemarketer lady who propsed I should buy life insurance and when I consistently refused saying my mum would take care of it she responded: "Well what if you're mom was in a car crash and died?" I told her that I was lucky enough to also have a father. "Well what if they were both in the same car accident and died." I was so disgusted - apoplectic with rage and disbelief that I retorted: "They'd be fine!" and proceeded to hang up, hearing her smugly ask "They'd be fine?" as I did. I have regretted ever since hanging up the phone that day - I should have laid into her right then and there, ask for her supervisor etc. But I was so shocked and angry that I couldn't think rationally.

Since then I've received numerous calls from them, but always miss them until the last two weeks in which they've phoned thrice at the same time - the first two times I politely told them to call me back in the evening while not at work. The third: I did my business. I told them their policy was concerning at the least, offensive at most and always inconsiderate and poorly timed. I told the poor lady who had nothing to do with any of it I'm sure, that I had been forced to imagine a scenario in which both my parents had been killed violently (car crashes are violent y'all) and had been called while I was at work on multiple occasions including this one. I asked her to take me off their call list immediately and never call me again.

So you can imagine my rage when I get a call saying that I requested a call from them today. I said slowly "No... I did not ask you to call me back" my voice crescendoing reaching it's peak with "I told you to TAKE ME OFF YOUR CALL LIST. DON'T EVER CALL ME AGAIN!!" then slammed my phone off.

Minutes later I sheepishly realized the call was a prank from Ivana avec frere and began to feel like the biggest tool in the box. Who needs enemies with friends like this, eh?

Prank Wars are go.

What I'm Head Boppin' To (to soften the blow)

Teen Lovers - The Virgins

Broken Glass

These shananigans happened last week but I neglected to report so now let me warn you: DO NOT buy cheap American Eagle sunglasses! Just take a look at what happened to mine after 2 years. So admittedly they owe me nothing since they were only about $16, but STILL! Thank heaven's for the real thing.